So, I thought that I should probably update this blog before my hubby gets home, and I lose all sense of reality. lol.
I'm noticing that as I prepare for his return, I'm going through some of the same things that I did right before and then right after he left 4 and a half months ago.
For instance,
-I cry for no reason, at strange times.
-I clean for unknown reasons.
-I'm eating lots of chocolate.
-I keep running out of ways to keep myself busy.
-I'm counting the hours!!
I just can't believe that he's coming home. This time tomorrow, we will be together again, and it's just crazy to think of where I was back in January.
I wanted to take this as an opportunity to thank all of my wonderful friends and family that stuck by me during this crazy time. I can't believe how much has happened, and I don't think I would have made it through without all of your support and love.
Through this deployment, I've learned that my family is my rock, I've learned about grief and loss, and I've also learned that I can handle so much more than I give myself credit for. Each and every day I would wake up and think, "Alright life, what do you have for me today? What's the next problem you're gonna throw at me?" After awhile, I started to make myself look at it differently. Instead of focusing on the problems that life was presenting, each night, I would make a mental list of all of the moments that made me smile that day. Those were the moments that made me look forward to another day of work, etc.
Now, I'm not saying that I'm completely cured of my anxiety, and that now I can look forward to our next deployment, instead of dreading it. I'm just saying that after this deployment I feel like I know myself better than I ever have before.
Again, thank you to everyone for reading my ridiculous rants and listening to me complain for 4.5 months. You are the best audience a girl could ask for!
I'll try my best to remember to update after the homecoming, but I'm not making any guarantees. Now I'm off to finish cleaning the house.
Much love!
-Jessica
