Monday, January 31, 2011

Day 22: Icky

I feel really icky today. I woke up at 11:00 and felt just absolutely awful. My throat still feels super bad, and my cough has gotten worse than in weeks past. I'm hoping that tomorrow I don't feel even worse, but it is still a possibility.
Needless to say, I did not call in to work to see if I could get some hours today. I just felt too awful, and thankfully they didn't call me either. We'll see if they call me tomorrow, but I think if I still feel this bad when I wake up, that I'm not going to call either. I need to take a few days and take care of myself. I feel like this cold (or whatever it is) has been around since before Kent left, and that's a problem. I still don't have a fever, but a sickness that lasts almost a month is just frustrating.

Also, Peaches wasn't feeling very well today either. Poor kitty. She was napping with me all morning, and then in the afternoon, she got up and jumped down to the ground, and proceeded to throw up on my bedroom carpeting. I felt so awful. She's never thrown up or had a hairball that I've been aware of, and it just scared me. This is mostly because my cat that I had growing up *she passed away this summer...* :(, Molly, would throw up almost every day, and it was heart-wrenching to see her just start to waste away towards the end of her life. So, anyway, a cat throwing up is just really scary to me.

So, anyway, I cleaned it up, and she hasn't thrown up again today, so I'm just wondering if maybe she just ate something that she wasn't supposed to, or if the new wet food that I got her yesterday didn't agree with her stomach or what.  I'm just going to keep an eye on her, and hope that today was just a fluke. *fingers crossed*

But, in the good news department, I got my W-2 forms in the mail from Kohl's today, and I get a whole 6 dollars back in federal taxes! wahoo!!
annd I got my new coat in the mail that my mom bought for me on LandsEnd.com and I love it! It's super cute, and grown-up looking, and warm. Awesome belated Christmas gift! Thanks mom!
Also, I got another belated christmas gift in the mail today from my BFE (bestest friend ever), Valerie, and I'm super stoked about it. She knit me a super cute slouchy hat, and I can't wait to wear it and look all artsy and stuff. Thank you Val! Your present is on it's way up to you! Promise!

So, all in all, as far as missing Kent, today wasn't TOO awful. Because I was home sick, I was able to talk to him this morning, AND the mic worked on his end, and so that was a nice surprise, and I got to talk to him very briefly this evening again, but he had to go early and greet someone or something. Who knows.
It was just a day full of cough drops, medicine, and tissues. Super Sexy!!
much love!
-Jessica
P.S. To all of my friends and family in the Midwest right now, please be careful in this snow-pocalypse, as they're calling it. Take it easy, and enjoy your time off! *unless you go to Truman, and in that case, have fun in class :P

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Day 21: Growing up!

Today, I was a really good grown up.  I woke up at a decent time, and went to church all by myself. I tried out the LCMS church in town, since that's what my home church is, and it was really nice. I'm not sure if it was completely my style, because it was super traditional. It felt more like a catholic service than a lutheran service, because they used kneelers and prayed with "Lord hear our prayer" statements. But, the choir was so awesome, and the song that they sang was so beautiful, that it made me cry. Literally.
I cried yet again during Communion, because I felt like a part of a group again.  I'm torn on whether I'm going to continue attending this church or not, but I'm gonna give it at least another week.

I also caved and went and bought some more wet food for my Peaches. She was beginning to drive me nuts each evening at dinner time. Also, I finally got a snow shovel, so that when it snows again, which I'm assuming will happen...I will be prepared, and able to get out of my driveway. :)
Yay for being a grown-up!

That's all for today!
-Jessica

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Day 20: LAUNDRY

I feel like all I did today was do laundry. ALL DAY.
So depressing to spend a whole day doing laundry, but at the same time, I'm glad to have clean clothes and clean sheets, and even clean towels! so, it's a been a bittersweet day.  A great thing about today was the fact that I got to talk to my hubby not once, but twice today!! I love getting to talk to him daily. It's so refreshing to get to see his face. Love it!
Also, I've discovered an easy way to get from snacking all day long. Today, I just sat in my room on my bed and watched TV, instead of sitting on the couch in the living room, and since the bedroom is farther away from the kitchen, I didn't walk into the kitchen to get snacks all day long! So, apparently, if I just live in my bedroom, I will make myself have better eating habits. lol. We'll see how well this theory plays out.

Other than laundry, not much happened today. Just a pretty lazy Saturday. Just how I like it.
Let's all just pray that I can talk myself into going to church in the morning. I'm gonna try the LCMS church in town, even though I'm not sure if it's really my style, because I know that I can for sure take communion there, and that's one of my main concerns with picking a new church.
Alright, I got to get the last load of laundry out of the dryer so I can go to sleep in my freshly-cleaned sheets!
Much love!
-Jessica

Friday, January 28, 2011

Day 19: Covered in Slobber

Today, I went in to work in the afternoon, and spent the last three hours of my observation hours in the baby room, to see what their afternoons are like.  I was instantly claimed by a little boy named Gavin, who was so attached, that anytime I got up to do anything, or stopped paying attention to him, he would begin to scream his head off. It was super cute.  Unfortunately, Gavin was quite the drooler, and I left work feeling like I was just covered in spit. gross.
But, now that I'm done observing, I got my nametag, and I can start working short shifts during the next two weeks before my orientation begins on Valentine's Day. THAT's right! Valentine's Day. For those of you not familiar with my relationship with my hubby, Feb. 14th is our anniversary. This valentine's day will be 4 years with my man, and I was completely planning on spending the day laying in bed, feeling sorry for myself that he's not here for this one. It also marks the one-year mark from the day that we got engaged.  This one's gonna be a tough one. Annd now, I have to get up in the morning and be there by 8am, with a smile on my face, and clean clothes on my body. I'm not really excited about it.  I predict a meltdown during one of the many classes that day. Should be an adventure.

Anyway, for dinner tonight, I kind of ignored my healthy lifestyle choices thing, and made myself a box of Spongebob Squarepants Mac n cheese. This was MOSTLY because I love character mac n cheese, but also because my milk expired today, and so I've been trying to use it up all day. :) Good times. But, before all my health-conscience friends freak out and yell at me, I did NOT eat the whole box, like I usually would.  I only ate about half the box, and put the rest in the fridge for lunch or dinner tomorrow.

Alright, time to catch up on my episodes of Conan, and then pass out after a week full of excitement!
Gnight all!
-Jessica

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Day 18: Kiddos!

So, last night was pretty rough. I stayed up way too late, because I couldn't get to sleep at all. Couldn't stop thinking about Kent, and missing him. Plus, I had to get up early, and go to work this morning, so I ended up only getting about 5 or 6 hours of sleep.
That was not enough sleep for the amount of energy I needed today.
Oh my goodness.
So, I went to leave this morning at 8:45, and my car was still covered in snow from the other night's storm.  Little did I know that under that layer of snow was a huge layer of ice coating my entire car. It took a good half hour to get my car cleared off and warmed up enough for me to drive it to base.
Once there, I went to the Post Office and finally mailed my first care package over to my hubby! Hopefully, he should get it within 3-4 weeks...which is a long time to deal with not having a mic for him on Skype. But, I think we'll manage.
After the post office, I made my way over to the childcare center, and spent the next 7 hours there. And, it's official. I love my new job. In the morning, I got to hang out with some babies and pre-toddlers, and I spent the afternoon in the preschool room. All afternoon, I did crafts and drew pictures for the kiddos, and I just can't get over how quickly they've all become attached to me. I love it! Their genuine interest in me is so endearing.
But EXHAUSTING!
I'm so tired, that you would think that I ran a 5K today. Now, I feel bad because we I got home, I was too tired to play with my poor neglected kitty cat (who, by the way, is now laying on the floor under my feet, under my blankets. She's made her own FORT! I have the coolest cat ever.

Ok, time to go lay in bed until I pass out, which probably won't be long, hopefully.
Much love!
-Jessica

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Day 17: Snowed In!

So, today I was awoken by my cell phone ringing. It was my boss, telling me that I could come in whenever.  She also told me that I could come in for the afternoon, but that the roads weren't the best. I was confused. I had not looked out the window yet.  When I finally opened the curtain, I knew why she had said that. Apparently I need to start watching the local news more often, because it had snowed about 2-3 inches over night!
But, being stubborn, and knowing that Kent really needs this package, I attempted to leave and go to the post office anyway... Bad idea. I couldn't even get out of the driveway. Grrr
So, defeated, I checked the mail, and found that I received two of the books that I bought on Amazon! YAY! They are "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Life as a Military Spouse" and "Faith Deployed: Daily Encouragement for Military Wives".
I'm super excited about both of them, for very different reasons.  I'm super sick of all of the terms and programs in the Army that I'm still not familiar with, and so the Idiot's Guide should help with that.  Faith Deployed should hopefully help me achieve the spiritual connection I've been seeking since Kent left.  I have a hard time getting myself to go to church alone, so hopefully this devotion book will help get my foot out the door on Sunday morning.

Anyway, I'm finding that this blog is becoming more of a requirement, and I can't decide if that's good or bad.  Some nights, I find myself not wanting to blog at all, but I feel like I have to, because I'm too OCD to have a blog with a day missing...lame, I know. But, at the same time, I think it's good that I feel like I have to blog everyday.  It helps keep me from holding things in, from letting emotions just fester inside me.  It gives me the REQUIREMENT to purge these emotions, and hopefully resolve them. 

I don't know. We'll see if I keep up this everyday thing or not...

Tonight, I'm praying for Kent's safety, and that he does a good job impressing his commander and 1st Sargent, who are visiting their FOB this week. I'm also praying that the snow melts, so I can go to work tomorrow and earn some more moolah, and finally get to the stupid post office. Prayers are also sent out to my many friends have relationship woes and decisions ahead. (you know who you are). 

I hope that tomorrow is more productive...
Much love!
-Jessica

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Day 16: Keeping my head above water

Today was another pretty decent day.
I went to the doctor, got the referrals I needed for my eye doctors, and got told that my thyroid is enlarged. Subsequently, I had to get blood work done, and the nurse had to prick my arm twice, because she missed the vein the first time, which sucked, but I've had worse.  So, hopefully, I'm not secretly in some awful health crisis without knowing it.
Kent's package is coming along nicely. Just a few more key ingredients, and it will be in the mail tomorrow. YAY!

Tried to get in contact with my new boss, to find out when I should go back in and get the rest of my observation hours done, but she didn't answer, and didn't call me back yet, so we'll see how that goes.

Then, I went to the Commissary for some groceries, and made myself get some things that I don't normally get.  I got ground beef, which I'm always afraid of getting, because storing it is more of a task. (don't worry, it's currently in Ziploc Freezer bags, inside the freezer. All was solved). I also got some Buffalo seasoned chicken strips (already cooked) to make some buffalo chicken salads and wraps. Aaaand, I got green grapes, which are one of my favorite fruits! Super stoked!

For dinner, I pulled out our George Foreman grill, which neither Kent nor I have ever used, even though he's had it for many years.  Unfortunately, it's been used by others, and they did not clean it after using it. So, when  I opened said grill, I was greeted by some super nasty, super old grease and food particles.  After dousing it with soap and hot water, I was left with a dilapidated, sad looking grill, with many scratches and parts without non-stick surface, because the food had been sitting there sooo long.
Anyway, after that debacle, I made a super delicious cheeseburger with my newly-cleaned George Foreman. Btw, many thanks to Valerie for that suggestion...
I can't wait to use my grill more often, now that it's finally being taken care of!

That's all for today.
Prays are requested for Kent to be able to get more sleep while he's over there. Every time I talk with him, he talks about how much sleep he's NOT getting. I'm just hoping that he's getting enough sleep to be able to do his job properly and safely.
Ok, bedtime for me!
Much love and many thanks to everyone who reads this nonsense everyday!
-Jessica

Monday, January 24, 2011

Day 15: Healthcare?

Today, I decided not to call in to see if I could do more observation hours, so that I could get some stuff done. Also, I REALLY wanted to keep sleeping. LOL.

But, I made sure that I used my time off today. First, I tried to get a hold of my Primary Care Doctor (PCM) in order to get an appointment to get my referrals for my two eye doctors I have found down here.  This system is way too complex, in my opinion. When I called, however, the receptionist informed me that they don't take Tricare Prime. After getting off the phone, throwing a hissy fit, and scaring the bejeezus out of Peaches, I pulled myself together, and headed on base.  Once there, I went to the post office and picked up some flat rate boxes, and went to the Tricare Office to find out what I should next.

Thankfully, the lady who works in that office is an angel, and instantly knew how to solve my problem.  Turns out my former PCM is no longer accepting Tricare, so I just simply had to find another doctor in town (from a list) and make sure that I could get an appointment before next week in order to get the proper referrals. I had to fill out some paperwork, and only had to call 2 different doctors, before I found someone who could see me tomorrow morning! YAY! So, now I have a new PCM, and hopefully everything will just fall into place from here.

Therefore, I felt very accomplished.

On the Peaches front, I was sitting in the living room this evening, when I heard some very strange noises coming from the kitchen.  It sounded like Peaches was in pain or something, so I rushed in there to see what was going on, and discovered Peaches in the defense position (Sideways, tail poofed, head forward, etc.) and staring intensely at the rear sliding-glass door.  When I opened the curtain to see what was out there, I didn't see anything, but I found her doing the same thing a couple more times as the night progressed.  I'm not sure if there's a neighborhood cat that was giving her trouble, or a dog, or even a raccoon, but something certainly had my baby pretty spooked. Not to mention myself!

All in all, today was frustrating, yet satisfying at the same time.
I can't wait to send out Kent's package in the next couple days. First, I have to pick a type of cookie to send him...
Let's see how long this good mood can last, shall we?
Much love!
-Jessica

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Day 14: Grrrr

Today's entry is probably going to be a short one.  Today was very frustrating. Peaches is really getting on my last nerve. I try to play with her, to try and get her energy out, but she's not interested. But, then as soon as I go to do something else, she's darting all around the house, knocking stuff over, making all kinds of noise, and I just don't understand.  I feel lost with her.

Omg, I sound like I'm talking about a child...
wow.
Ok, well, anyway, I didn't do anything today. I didn't go to that new church, I didn't work out, and I didn't even leave the house.

ALTHOUGH, i DID take a shower, and I made a delicious dinner of chicken, noodles, and broccoli. Healthy, right? sure.

Anyway, I can't think of anything else to write tonight. Gnight all
-jessica

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Day 13: Uphill Battle

So, this morning, my day started out wonderfully.  I woke up to the sound of my hubby calling me on Skype, which was awesome, especially because the computer that Kent chose to call me from actually had a MIC that WORKED! So, I was finally able to TALK to him, and hear his voice again, which was amazing.  After our talk, I was certain that today was going to be a good one.

*sigh*
I was mistaken.  Today was a constant battle with Peaches, and with myself.  I was awful about snacking, and Peaches was so obnoxious! She almost broke our DirectTV receiver, and I about lost my mind! I was certainly out of patience for her today!
After vegging out on the couch while watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer for about 6 hours or so, it was time to decide what to watch this evening.  I was already watching Oxygen, and they were playing The Notebook, which I knew would just make me cry hysterically, but I decided that I was strong enough today. I love that movie, and it had been such a long time since I had watched it.  (mostly because after the first time I watched it, I decided it was only to be viewed if I needed a good cry). 
ANYWAY, I watched it.  And I cried for most of the movie, and then for another 15 minutes after the movie ended...mistake.

I'm just such a sucker for a love story, and The Notebook is just such a GREAT love story.  I think the part that really got me this time was (for those of you who have seen it) when they're sitting in the lawn of the retirement home, and their children are trying to tell Noah to come home with them, and he says, "That's my sweetheart in there. Wherever she is, that's where my home is." It BROKE my heart into a million pieces.  To think of my life 60-70 years from now, I can only hope and dream that Kent would be there, saying the same things about me to our future children.  Okay, now I'm just getting myself all worked up again.

Anywho, tomorrow, I'm supposed to make myself go out and try this other Lutheran church in town that I've been looking at, but I hate trying new things... especially by myself.
PLUS, they sent me a program from last week's service, and they look WAY too traditional for me.  I don't know. I guess we'll just see what time I wake up in the morning, and how I feel when I DO wake up.

Okay, Peaches is being mean again. I need to go yell at her.
Much love to all!
-Jessica

Friday, January 21, 2011

Day 12: SNOW DAY!

Even though I absolutely loved yesterday, it completely wore me out, and I was super excited when I checked base's Facebook page right after finishing yesterday's entry, and found out that base was closed today! YAY!

I swiftly proceeded to turn off my alarm, and planned to have a nice snooze all morning long.  Unfortunately, my body, and Peaches, decided that it was time to wake up around 8:30....which is still a whole lot better than waking up at 7, but not the snooze-fest I was hoping for. 

So, I opened my laptop, turned on Facebook and Skype, and waited for Kent to get online.  When he finally did, I was pleasantly surprised when he told me to video call him on skype! He's finally at his FOB, and they have computers there that he can use that have webcams...so YAY! I got to see his handsome face again! Good times. Unfortunately, he didn't know that the webcams provided don't have built-in mics, like ours do, and so I couldn't hear him the whole time.  It was better, cuz I could see his reactions, but I can't wait for tonight, because he's gonna have a mic this time, and I'll be able to see him AND hear him.

So, today, I didn't do very much, but I did get a few important things done:
1. Ate Lunch (cereal!!)
2.Got the mail, after trudging down my slippery, snow-covered driveway to get to the mailbox.
3. Called Cable One (That's right, in Kirksville)
4. Called FedLoan and complained about the recent bill that I got for Kent's Loans, only to be reassured that it was a mail mix-up.
5. Ate popcorn and watched Definitely, Maybe on Oxygen
6. Deposited a check into our USAA account to pay for Kent's truck loan.

and now, I'm trying to decide what to have for dinner....hmmmm... oh well.
Then, I get to wait for the hubby to get online, so we can finally chat face-to-face!

In the meantime, I would like to put a prayer request out there for a friend of mine. Her name is Sarah, and her mom recently passed away, and she is definitely in need of prayers for peace in this trying time.  My heart goes out to her and her family tonight. I love you Sarah!

That's all for now...
-Jessica

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Day 11: Getting a Life

Today, I finally feel like I have a life again.  I reported into work today at 8am (which meant I had to wake up at SEVEN! ah!) and found out that I was going to be working today until 5pm.  We've got to get 16 hours of supervised observation before we can actually be in the classroom as a caregiver.  So, the director, Linda, has decided that today and tomorrow would be perfect for getting those done.  Not sure what kind of hours, if any, I'll be able to get the next couple of weeks, because they're not sure if I'm allowed to work before orientation, which should be the first or second week of February.

The day started out nice and awkward, and I didn't know what I was and was not allowed to do as an observer.  But, as the day progressed, it got better and better, AND I had lunch with people! AND I had conversations with new people! I'm so proud of myself.  I feel really positive about this job, and I can't wait until I go through training, and I can finally feel okay with getting involved with discipline and other such lovely things.

When it came time to leave, there was already an inch and a half of snow on the ground, and it was still snowing, which in TN, is like 5 inches of snow!  It took me an entire HOUR to get home.  It usually only takes about 5-8 minutes, 20 minutes with bad traffic, but the roads were SO bad, and the cars were all so backed up, that getting off base took an entire half hour...crazy!

So, now I have to keep checking the base's Facebook page to see if base is going to be closed tomorrow (i.e. no work), or delayed for 2 hours (i.e. an opportunity to sleep in a little), or if it's going to open, and I have to be there at 8am.

Personally, I'm hoping for the first option. I'm not ready for this running around for 9 hours a day thing yet.

At least I'm getting paid!
GREAT DAY! --except for the drive home--

-Jessica
pray for a snow day tomorrow!!!!

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Day 10: Productivity

Today, I got a lot of things done. I'm very proud of myself actually.
I woke up at 8am, which is the earliest I've gotten up all week, took a shower, which I haven't done all week (ew), and put on real pants (not sweatpants), which I haven't done all week.  Then, I went on base and FINALLY got my paperwork turned in for my new job, and then went to "orientation", which was basically just more paperwork, but more geared toward payroll. 
After returning home for a quick lunch and a bit of playtime with my kitty, I headed back out to get a few essentials at Kmart before hitting Kohl's to use my 30% off for the last time, and to redeem my Kohl's Cash. Double Deal!
After my shopping adventures, I settled down to a lovely dinner of a Banquet Chicken Pot Pie and Apple Juice. DE-licious!

Highlight of my day: A 20 minute (about) conversation on Facebook Chat with my hubby.  He said that he moves out Tomorrow (his time), so tomorrow night, our time.

Tomorrow, I have to get up even earlier (7am) to report in to the Childcare Center at 8am, so I should probably move towards my bedroom pretty quick...plus I'm SUPER tired!

Things are starting to look up!
-Jessica

P.S. Prayers are requested for Kent's safe travels, for my job process to go smoothly, and for me to remember to pay all of the bills on time! Gah!

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Day 9: Can't think of a catchy title...

Wow, the response to my post from yesterday was both overwhelming and extremely appreciated. I didn't expect so many of my friends to facebook/text me to make sure that I'm doing okay.  I am touched, I really am. 
I want to say that because of all of that support that today was a good day, but that would be a lie.  Today, I felt like I was going through the motions.  We got a ton of bills in the mail, which was depressing.  Also, I went onto base to pick up my prescription for steroid drops for my granny eye.  One good thing was that they only cost me 3 dollars. I guess Tricare's good for something. But, now I have to put a drop in my right eye 4 times a day...let's see how well I remember that.  But, along with my prescription, I got a paper that I have to turn into my Primary Care Manager to get a referral to keep seeing this optometrist.  *sigh*  So, now I have to keep trying to call this doctor whom I've never met, until they finally answer their phone... oh well.

On the job front, I'm going in tomorrow morning at 9am to get all my paperwork turned in and checked out, and then hopefully, if I'm done in time, I'm going to go to in processing at 10am and finally get more information about this job, and hopefully get a start date. *fingers crossed*

On a good note, I got to talk to Kent today on Facebook Chat, which was excellent! Even if it's just instant messaging, or even an email, I love to hear from him! It makes me feel connected to him still. 
Be praying for him the next couple weeks. He's got a big test on all of the Field Artillery things that he has forgotten since BOLC. He's really worried about it, and needs to pass it so that he can qualify to be an FDO (Field Direction Officer).  He's also got a PT test coming up at the beginning of next month, so pray that he does well on that as well.

All in all, a decent day, definitely better than yesterday.
-Jessica

Monday, January 17, 2011

Day 8: Lonely

Today marks exactly one week since Kent called me to tell me he was finally flying out from the airfield, bound for Germany.  I was hoping that by now, I would have made some progress in both friendships and my emotions. 
While I feel that I'm doing my best to try and move on with my life while Kent is gone, it's very hard when I live in a town full of people I don't know. I'm finding it very hard to pick myself up out my sadness, and get things done. 
Today, after my family left, I reverted back to the way I was about a week ago.  Suddenly, I no longer want to do anything.  I don't want to work out anymore, I don't want to worry about eating better, I don't want to leave the comfort of my couch.  I just want to eat junk, sit on the computer, and watch tv. I want to invent a machine that speeds up time.  Then the next 3 months could just pass in 3 hours, and then Kent would be back home with me where he belongs.  I'm beginning to think that I've come to rely on him for too much. So much that I hate doing things by myself.  I feel alone all the time, even now, with Peaches laying on my chest as I type. 
I'm afraid of how deep this depression might pull me under.

-Jessica
prayers are the same as usual, and are much appreciated, but phone calls and texts are even better right now...

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Day 7: My old friend, Happiness

I'm beginning to feel like all of this happiness is only going to make this next week feel even worse.  I love having my family here, that's for sure. Today, I showed them around base, my mom and I went shopping at Kohl's :), and we made a delicious dinner of Spaghetti Pie and cheesy garlic Texas Toast, followed by the Golden Globes.  I could not have asked for a more perfect day. But, now I have to deal with the fact that they leave tomorrow.
I really wish that they could just stay here with me. Or that I could just move back to St. Louis. *sigh* I hate being a grown-up.
I'm expecting tomorrow to be another tough one.

On the husband front, the only thing I've heard today from him is that they are on the move. Hopefully I will soon have more information on his base and such. *this won't be posted on here, you'll have to get it from me on Facebook, but I'll let you know when the information is available.

Well, I'm off to bed.
Then, it's time to tackle another week.
-Jessica

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Day 6: Better

Today was a pretty good one. My parents and brother got here around 8:30 tonight, and we played a rousing game of Scrabble. It was really nice to have some normalcy in my life.

Now, we're watching SNL and it's good to laugh again.

Tomorrow, we're going to go exploring in the town of Clarksville and visit base a little. I love being a tour guide.

Also, talked to Kent again tonight. I feel spoiled with all of this communication, but I'm going to enjoy it while I've got it.  I love knowing that he's still ok, and that he's still dealing with the bureaucracy of the Army, even when he's over there. 
Well, I'm off to spend some more quality time with the fam before bed.
Love to all!
-Jessica

Friday, January 14, 2011

Day 5: Progress?

Today I went to my first Family Readiness Group (FRG) meeting. I was supposed to go and make some friends with the fellow wives, but of course, my nervousness got the best of me, and I simply sat at my table and kept to myself.  I'm very disappointed in myself, because I'm not usually that shy, but I think I was mostly just afraid of butting into the other wives' discussions.  I feel like an outsider.  Today helped slightly, but it's still not enough.  *sigh* I'll just have to keep making myself go to base for different events I guess.

Also, I went to Nashville to go to the retina specialist, got lost following their directions (Thank goodness I had my GPS to get me back on track), and got to the office only to find out that I needed a referral from my primary care manager, whom I've never even met.  Thankfully, I was still able to see the doctor today. He took a bunch of pictures and scans, and told me what I've known all along: I STILL have fluid under my retina.  He said it's not in my center of vision, and since I've had 2 retinal surgeries already, he wants to avoid operations if we can.  He's going to get in touch with my retina specialist back in St. Louis, and I have to go back on Feb 3rd to discuss our options (at his Clarksville office, thankfully). 

So, all in all, I'm happy to be taking care of my eye again, because I've felt bad about not doing anything with it for 7 months, but at the same time, I'm worried about what's to come.

As far as Kent is concerned, he called me last night at 11:48pm to wish me a happy 3 years, 11 months anniversary ( It was 10:08am this morning where he is). I was really glad he called, because I got to tell him the news about my eye, and knowing that he is aware of the situation makes me feel a whole lot better.

Today was a challenge, but tomorrow will be better.  My parents and brother will be here in the evening, and I can't wait!

But, first, I need to clean my house, so that my mom doesn't worry about the way I've been living.
Don't be suprised if my updates get less frequent this weekend while I'm entertaining the fam.
-Jessica

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Day 4: Overwhelmed

So, just when I thought that everything was falling into place, today happened.

This morning, I went online to pay our bill for our PX credit card, when I found that someone had already made a $100 payment on our account.  I was instantly concerned that someone had unauthorized access to our account, so I wrote down the information it gave me, and drove onto base to ask customer service about the issue. They were baffled, and finally decided that there had been a mix-up with accounts. So, I went ahead and paid the payment I was originally planning on making, and have to fill out a "Payment Dispute" form.  The lady at customer service kept telling me how amazed she was that I would be that honest, but I would only hope that if I had been on the other end, and accidentally made a large payment on someone else's account, that they would do the same thing for me.  : ) that was the only good part of my day.

Then, I went to the Optometrist at the PX for a free eye exam through Tricare, just to make sure that my troublesome right eye hasn't gotten any worse. After 2 and a half hours and tears over the fact that I still can't see out my right eye, I was given an appointment in Nashville with a retina specialist for tomorrow afternoon.  I am so frustrated with all of this nonsense. I can't believe that I am now going into my 4th year dealing with all of these eye problems.  I haven't even gotten the bills figured out from the last 3 surgeries I've had to undergo, and now I'm about 92% positive that the specialist tomorrow is going to tell me that I need yet another surgery.  I might as well not even bother finishing all of this work for my new job, because the surgery will surely put me out of commission for at least a couple weeks. 

Plus, if I end up getting the surgery down here, I will need someone to come with me to the surgery that can drive me home.  This poses quite a problem, because I still have yet to meet anyone down here that I would trust enough to do that for me.  So much is running through my mind about the next couple of weeks. *sigh*

Today made me want my husband back home more than ever.

-jessica

On the plus side, I worked out last night, had a slim-fast shake for brunch, and a tasty salad for dinner. AND I'm about to go workout again, get my mind off things.

Prayer requests include: Kent's safety, my sanity, and for my granny eye.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Day 3: A Breath of Fresh Air

Well, after hearing Kent's voice again last night, and then again this morning, I feel a million times better. I now have more hope about being able to stay in contact with him.

Today, I also got a lot of things done, which makes me feel even better.  I connected Kent's printer to my laptop and loaded the software, etc., which took much longer than I expected, because my laptop is from the dark ages at this point, and the cd-rom drive wasn't working correctly. I actually had to end up tilting the laptop on it's side for the driver to read the software disc. Very frustrating.

Then, I called the vets in Kirksville, to find out which vet Kent had taken our cat to while we were up there. She's due for some more shots, so I needed to know which clinic had all of her information on file.

I also went to base and got some free over-the-counter medications from the pharmacy.  This program is so phenomenal! I got a bottle of 100 ct. Tylenol, Ibuprofen, Sudafed, and Robutussin, all free of charge, just because I have Tricare Prime. I feel like this service is so underrated because I can save so much money by getting up to 4 over-the-counter medications every 2 weeks! That's fantastic!

Then, I finally went and got my fingerprint cards for the paperwork I'm completing for my job on base.  I am now officially done with all of this nonsense paperwork. Now, I just have to call the NAF office and set up an appointment to go over my paperwork to make sure everything is complete correctly.

After that, it was off the Commissary to get a few groceries and other things I needed.

All in all, I'm very happy with the way this day went for me.
Kent's on his way to his next destination. (Not sure exactly where, but at least I know he's safe). And I'm finding ways to occupy my time. Now I'm off to watch some tv, make some Sponge Bob mac n' cheese, and curl up with Peaches to watch "What Happens in Vegas" (My Netflix movie for the week)

-Jessica :)

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Day 2: Impatient

I feel so impatient.

Kent finally called me yesterday at about 4:00 in the afternoon to tell me that they were getting on the plane, yet again, and that he would try to get in contact with me as soon as he could. Now that I know that he is on his way over there, it's a different type of lonely. Now, it's a waiting game. It's a constant waiting for my phone to finally ring. I'm beginning to see what the next 4 months of my life are going to be like.  From now on, my phone will be my lifeline to my husband. I look forward to 3am phone calls that only last 5 minutes, and walking out of important family functions just to answer a call from a restricted number, not knowing if it's Kent or a telemarketer.

I would like to think that I'm a somewhat patient person, a person willing to go with the flow of life, but now I'm not sure. I can't hardly wait to hear from him again, to see my family this weekend, to find out his address over there, to get into the groove of this deployment, etc, etc, etc.

I'm trying my best not to raid the kitchen of all of the junk food imaginable, but it's really hard not to, because eating is my main vice when dealing with stress and anxiety, not to mention boredom.

Hopefully, I will hear from Kent either today or tomorrow. If not, I might just lose my mind.

Prayers for his safe travel, and for my sanity are much appreciated.
Much love to all.
-Jessica-

Monday, January 10, 2011

Day 1: Numb

Well, it's official. I'm barely even one day into my husband's first deployment, and I'm already full of doubts and anger towards the military.  He was supposed to have left this past friday, but the flight was delayed until yesterday. He was set to flight out last night at 10:55pm for Afghanistan, but his flight was delayed yet again, because of weight discrepancies and lack of flight time for the pilots. But instead of allowing him to come home early this morning, and staying with me for the day, they are making him stay at the airfield. They pulled out cots and made them sleep there. The only plus that I can think of is that he is being paid deployment pay while all of this nonsense is taking place!

Meanwhile, I'm stuck at home, with no friends in town, and a crazy cat driving me up the wall. I just wish that we could have a couple more weeks together to actually get settled in this town. I feel like I would be better off packing up all of my stuff and moving back in with my parents for the rest of the deployment.

So far, the only information I have is that first they will fly into Germany on an eight hour flight, be there for a couple hours while the crew refuels the plane, and then it's another eight hour flight into Kyrgyzstan. He's not sure how long he'll be there, but it could be anywhere from 2 hours to 3 days.

I have no idea when I will be able to talk to him next, but for now, I will spend my time filling out paperwork for my new job and finding various other ways to distract myself from the fact that my husband of only 6 months is only 5 miles away from me, and I'm not allowed to talk to him or see him.