Monday, January 17, 2011

Day 8: Lonely

Today marks exactly one week since Kent called me to tell me he was finally flying out from the airfield, bound for Germany.  I was hoping that by now, I would have made some progress in both friendships and my emotions. 
While I feel that I'm doing my best to try and move on with my life while Kent is gone, it's very hard when I live in a town full of people I don't know. I'm finding it very hard to pick myself up out my sadness, and get things done. 
Today, after my family left, I reverted back to the way I was about a week ago.  Suddenly, I no longer want to do anything.  I don't want to work out anymore, I don't want to worry about eating better, I don't want to leave the comfort of my couch.  I just want to eat junk, sit on the computer, and watch tv. I want to invent a machine that speeds up time.  Then the next 3 months could just pass in 3 hours, and then Kent would be back home with me where he belongs.  I'm beginning to think that I've come to rely on him for too much. So much that I hate doing things by myself.  I feel alone all the time, even now, with Peaches laying on my chest as I type. 
I'm afraid of how deep this depression might pull me under.

prayers are the same as usual, and are much appreciated, but phone calls and texts are even better right now...

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