Friday, February 18, 2011

Day 40: 40 Days and 40 Nights

Well, it's been 40 days and 40 nights since my husband left, and I would love to say that everything is awesome, and the rainbow has appeared, but it's not awesome, and I'm 100% positive that rainbow won't be here until April.
But, it's getting there. Slowly but surely, I'm doing better. Yes, I still cry. Yes, I still can't sleep very well. Yes, I'm still completely attached to my laptop and my cellphone, waiting for communication with him. But, I'm pretty sure those things will all be true until the day he returns. But I'm okay with it now. I longer expect myself to do well everyday. I've decided that it's okay that I'm a wreck, especially at night. Deployments aren't something that is easy, or at all normal. I shouldn't be expected to just "get over it" or "get on with my life". For the next 2 months, my life is going on as well as it can. My "unhealthy obsession" with facebook has become my normal life. 
Also, just because this is a short deployment, doesn't mean it's easier. Because 4 months isn't long enough to get into a new routine....

Ok, I'm not complaining, I promise. I don't mean to sound full of myself, or whiny, etc. etc.
I just wanted to let everyone know that even though I might seem like things are getting better, it's only because I have accepted my feelings, and have decided that it's okay to be a mess sometimes.

Yay for acceptance!

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