Thursday, March 17, 2011

Day 67: Dreading this Saturday.... :(

Ok, today's post is a depressing one. Just a warning....
I really wish Kent was home, especially this weekend. My mom got a call last night from my Uncle Dan, her brother-in-law, telling her that my Aunt Linda, her sister, has decided that she is ready to meet her maker. My aunt was diagnosed with ALS about 4-5 years ago, and has been suffering from the horrible disease ever since. There is no known cure, so it was really more of a waiting game. But, over the last couple weeks, I've been hearing from my mom and grandma that Linda has decided that she is done fighting with the monster of ALS, and wants to go to be with God now.

This saturday will be her last day.

I don't know what to do. I feel numb about the situation, and I almost feel like if I ignore the issue, then it won't be real...I know that Saturday is going to be one of the hardest days yet. My Aunt Linda was always my favorite Aunt growing up. She was a brilliant quilter, a loving mother, aunt, wife, and grandmother. She was also my godmother, which I'm pretty sure she would just use as an excuse to buy me more Barbie dolls, and other amazing presents. Sometimes I wonder if I already feel like she's gone. I haven't had a real conversation with her, or been able to hear her voice in so long, that I thought I had already made peace with her illness, but now that she's really going to be gone, I feel like my world is crumbling around me.

Plus, it doesn't really help that my parents are also leaving on Saturday. They have to get back to their regular lives, as do I, it just falls on a really rotten day.

I don't really know what else to talk about. This is really the only thing on my mind.

So, um. I would like to ask all of you who read this blog still, to take a moment to send out a prayer for my family. Even though she's been sick for so long, this is still going to be a very difficult time. So, prayers for peace for my family and for a comfortable and peaceful end to my aunt's long and vicious battle with ALS. But also, I would like to ask for everyone to send up a prayer for everyone who is dealing with this fatal disease, as well as their families. Nobody deserves to suffer the way that Linda has.

Ok. I'm going to sleep.


  1. Thank you for posting that! It is really hard to deal with. I really thought that knowing the day you're going to die is easier, but really, it's not. We are all just waiting around and making plans and getting things ready for her death. It's the strangest thing. But at least people have the opportunity to say goodbye and make peace with it.

    It's been such a long journey for her, she's so ready to be done with it. I can't imagine ever being in her shoes. I would've given up over 2 years ago!!

    Just know that your visit here to see her was very very meaningful and you were her favorite niece!! :) She loved you to pieces. At times, I truly thought she loved you more than my sister and I. lol But then again, you're easy to love!! :)

    Thank you so much for visiting her. Thank you so much for being a part of her life and loving her unconditionally. She really needed it. I'm glad to hear she meant so much to you. I'll tell her about this post. I know she'll appreciate it.

    I love you!! :)

  2. I'm so sorry. Know that i'm hugging you mentally. Stay strong.

  3. I'm so sorry Jess! Even when you know the person will be in a better place, it doesn't make it any easier to go through. I know how much your aunt means to you so I know it will be hard. But know that I am praying for you and your family! I love you so much!